words

at times they overcome me
like a raging river they
knock me down fill my
nose and ears and mouth
so that I cannot breath

other times they sit
bleeding at a distance
taunting me with their pain
mocking me to catch them
and make them coherent

on clear days when the fog
lifts and nothing near me
makes my heart harden I grab
the words lovingly and lay
them down in a sentence

waiting

always the same
wanting blankets
and white noise
for comfort
knowing I need to
creep out from
under the safety 
net and do what
society tells me
to do like a good
girl but I am not
a good girl not by
a long shot so I 
sleep and smoke too
much and watch crap
to drown out the 
feeling I am not
living my life

time

I noticed my skin today
dry red and annoying
even beneath the silver
betraying an inevitable thing
that creeps behind me

my face can still manifest 
youth, if I am somber
and even though the nails
are painted picture perfect
I despise nail polish

and plucking and tweezing
constant coloring, offensive
my hands ache today
and the wrist slightly
I'm too busy to pay heed

the occasional twinge in my
hips reminds me again
but I sashay boldly
like the young hip woman
that I truly am inside

I embrace the laugh lines
rid myself of lint
and run towards life
perhaps a little slower
only to the observant

anti valentine poem – Man

you are here yet not here
the past haunts you
we are both of your past
one dead one alive

drawn by words and words
that fall into broken
poems the second you
retreat from my life

a gentle soul trapped
in another time I
see you fading from
my line of fire

perhaps you should 
run from me, this love
you talk about in slurred
tones seems not worth

fighting for, my older
heart has been changed
and no longer holds
any man near or dear